When the sun appears - everyone comes out of hibernation, and that basically sums up today, everyone was out and about. After being mad on editing for the last two days, I was guilty of being on of those people thinking brill, just get an hour of fresh air. However suffering from migraines, sun and still recovering from my virus it may have been too much for me today. My Mum having to remind me to look after myself and chill. (I don't do chilling very well) and I always believe and expect myself to be stronger than I really am. I was feeling rather drained though and when you head is pounding you aren't able to make proper conversation or want to for that matter and being around friends made it hard work for me today.
Just proves how tough this whole journey is for me and how I am just adapting to it and it will take time - I am still not fully tuned into my body just yet, I still treat myself as superwoman and the athlete I used to be (without all my medical issues) . Although I did notice that I was struggling and did leave early - coming home and pigging out on banana nice cream - (of course the sun is out I couldn't NOT have it today) in hope I would regain some energy but think today is just one of those days where everything is hitting me and I simply need to STOP, a hard word to accept in my mind. I finished my diary this morning - another end of another chapter. It covers the past three months, the three months having lots of up's and down's - lots of hurdles, lots of tests and lots of knowledge gained. It is surprising how much things can change so quickly. However I feel positive about starting my new one tomorrow - starting with tomorrow being for 'ME' if I want to lie in bed all morning I should, it doesn't make me lazy it is what my body wants, I may not be able to sleep but the rest and the 'MIND' rest will probably do me good instead of thinking 'right I am awake let's roll' , eat what and when I want to eat and see friends, making plans if I want to and feel up to it. This will be tough for me, as I don't like letting people down on plans, feeling like I haven't seen someone for a while or accepting I need a rest - I expect myself to bounce back like superwoman. Plus it would be nice if people asked me/invited me to plans as I am always left organizing ( which I am not up to right now. ) Soon I will be able to - but right now I am still very much in the healing process, and I know that deep down I just haven't fully accepted this fact.
Reading about people who suffer with allergies and have had to change basically the way they eat and their whole day to to day life and how they live it has taken them YEARS to get back to feeling themselves. Which is very daunting to me but also the positive is the fight is possible and it is worth fight and continuing because you will get there in the end, there is never a 'quick fix' we all know that. Patience and determination is needed. So let's make sure we have these elements in mind and carrying them with us everyday to keep us on the right path.
I have had a solid three days editing my book too - which has been mentally draining, but finally re-working so much and re-building (just want it to be perfect), to re-submit into review - I am READY for a rest, but relieved I have got on top of that. Just praying it turns out well otherwise this book is seriously going to be pushed back until after America at this rate - time seems to fly too fast, I don't know where the hours in the day go.
So tomorrow I plan to rest, treat myself, eat plenty - I can sense a lot of banana's if it is sunny tomorrow and I may go out and meet friends for a drink and do something small or I may just chill with a film or watch a rubbish TV series where I don't really have to focus. You see with my migraines it is hard to watch the TV, so going out for a quiet drink may be a good option. We will see - but I need to care for myself as do all of you - it is the weekend, do something for YOU! We run around all week, it is 'me time' now and we shouldn't feel GUILTY for it. Eat the right fuel for your body and allow it to heal and repair - ready for the week ahead. We are allowed a day off. We must keep telling ourselves that.
I also tried French red rice tonight - I was a bit unsure how it would taste, it looked a hard rice in the packet and looked like it would be very dry but it was super yummy - one for the next recipe book!!
All of you lovely's who follow me on Snapchat will see how it turned out.
I want to leave you with this quote.
Love and peace to all
Good night xx