• Sophie Ward

Day 12- It’s Time To Delve. Contacting The United Nations. Review.


This is the day to do some digging.

Whether it’s in the sense of your past, in your heart or mind.

It’s time to make peace with the past, share and spread love from your heart and hold positive thoughts only in the mind.

These small changes can make the world of difference but they are tough to conquer. 

But if not now, when?

There is no point waiting for tomorrow as tomorrow will never come and after all it’s just simply wasting time. 

The past is the past it can’t be changed. As my Grandad always tells me, ‘ Don’t worry about something you can’t change.’ He is so right. We must learn the lessons from our future to help us in the present and future. Not dwell on the mistakes and pain but gain lessons and strength from them. 

Share love, dig deep. Think of gifting gifts from the heart. No matter how big or small it’s worth so much more.

Mind, clear your mind. The winter blues hit everyone hard. It’s easy to get down and feel low.

Now is the perfect time to clear out those negative thoughts and replace them with the postitive. You have the Christmas parties, family time and socialising to enjoy as well as looking at exciting goals for 2018. There is lots to be planning for an looking forward to. You don’t need negative thoughts holding you back. 

Don’t allow them too. 

Remember ..

Impossible is I’m possible!

Quick update on the life of Sophie.. 

I managed to go out to Victorian evening in my home town of Garstang last night for an hour. Walking around the stalls in -10 weather. 

I had a fever and didn’t feel the freezing cold thank goodness. My feet were blocks of ice but it wasn’t registering in my brain.  

I have been down recently so it was nice to go and feel part of Christmas without overwhelming myself.

The doctors was positive  - 

Another pound on. We will see how my immune system & liver are doing when we get my blood results back.  

My nurse loved her personalised Christmas card and even reworked her appointments and moved me so she could see me personally to thank me. 

I am pleased my change in diet- pulling the carbs right back and well literally eating 500g of Alpro unsweetened yoghurt a day is really helping to get my protein in. 

It’s weird not having carbs at every meal as you think you need them for energy but forget how refined they are and their glucose levels. 

I used to eat so much rice, all different kinds - white, Thai, black and so on.. but of course they are all refined. 

Giving the Lyme and co-infections exactly what they need to keep reproducing and causing chaos in my body.  

I have only eaten rice twice in the three weeks I have been home now.  

*** 

Everyone always says to me, that my intolerances will disappear when my body is stronger. In some cases I agree but as you all know since being home I’ve been trying so hard to eat foods I am intolerant to.  

Which is causing me real issues.

I am getting my chubby cheeks back with my weight gain which is fab! But in myself I am feeling worse.. my reactions to foods are what I am really struggling with.

Getting panicky because I feel I can’t breathe properly and if I fall asleep I may never wake up. 

My Dad said to me look you are eating.. that’s good. 

I’ve always eaten but I got him to feel my swollen bumpy throat. And said I am eating, I am hungry and need to live but I can barely swallow, conversations are getting harder, my brain isn’t as sharp, I feel sick, my joints are horrendous and half the time I am ‘guessing’ with what I have to do. 

But I don’t go kicking and screaming about it so because I sit there and try my best to be normal. I must be ok..  

Yet I am far from it.

Then LymeDisease.org posted an article about mast cell activation syndrome. 

I had never heard of this before but many Lyme disease sufferer’s are now being diagnosed with the disease. 

It is basically where the cells have been changed so much that they fight many materials, foods and chemicals causing symptoms within the respiratory tract, neurological symptoms, gastrointestinal issues and skin issues.  

They can come on suddenly with foods you may eat regualry and symptoms can be severe and also get worse over time.  

Of course there is no cure. 

My symptoms match a lot of what they were saying the disease causes; 

- air hunger

- itching skin

- vision, light and movement sensitivity 

- sickness and stomach issues 

- joint pain

- low blood pressure

- temperature sensitivity 

- chest pains

If I carry on trying to load my body with the foods, chemicals and materials my body wants to fight, it can lead to severe issues that could be life threatening. 

As you all know in hospital I began suffering with chest pain. I was told my heart was still beating.. 

If I had of died or something bad of happened, then what would they have said? 

‘She told me she didn’t feel well but we thought she was being dramatic?’ 

I want to look more closely at this illness and talk to my professor about it

I just need to be careful.. 

Maybe that pizza 🍕 life is no longer my destiny. 

I will shed a tear over that fact but I have to keep hope in my heart that fate has a better route for me. 

 ** 

Home life is chilled but it hard to hide my pain and look like I have it all together when I don’t have the foggyiest.

It’s hard for my family to see let alone be dealing with the drama of heightened symptoms.

Yet some times I can’t hide what’s going on.

That’s difficult for me to except, let alone everyone else. 

** 

I know you all probably think I do nothing all day but sit in pain and in a fog.. 

I do sit in pain and a fog but I don’t do nothing! I am always doing something.

And today is no exception..  

Today Mama and I proudly recorded and sent in our recording on the Violation of the Humans Rights of Lyme Disease sufferers to The United Nations directly.  

Yes...

We went to the top. 

Explaining how we are ignored, dismissed and mistreated by the health community. Accused of being crazy, and facing thousands of pounds worth of health bills to get any tests or treatments. 

We don’t do things by halves.

We will fight.. keep fighting and as my favourite quote states..

I may lose a battle, but I’ll win the war.’ 

It applies well not only to the Lyme Disease battle on a whole but my person battle.

I don’t always get it right, and make many mistakes, it’s been a bumpy road of the unknowns but I never stop learning. Knowledge is power and I do all I can to keep developing and growing. 

So, don’t worry I don’t lie in bed all day.

I share a lot of my journey and battle but lots happen behind the scenes..

Contacting products, companies, health organisations, the Government and so on.

I want to leave a firm footprint on the Earth’s ground.

We keep holding and fighting on.. 

Thank you to Mama for being a number one warrior and holding my hand through the frightening nights, being my walking stick and number one carer. 

Thank you- my soul sister. 

It’s not an easy business. 

S

Xoxo


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