• Sophie Ward

Baby, Baby, Baby

Having a baby is a gift many girls look forward to in their lives.

To create a family unit, bring up their own flesh and blood and expand the family line. We have always, since time began been encouraged by society to follow this life path. 

In light of the recent Kardashian baby overload. Kim’s new addition via a surrogate and Kylie and Khloe’s births. More than ever girls and young ladies will be wanting to follow in their idols footsteps. 

It’s often extremely hard when people are lucky enough to fall pregnant with no issues and seem to make pregnancy and motherhood look a breeze. Society is quick to make out that this is the case, it is only like this for a very small percentage of women. Many suffer with miscarriages, traumatic births, go through IVF and are unsuccessful, severe morning sickness or give birth to a poorly baby. 

The media often paint a bad picture, even act with ‘disgust’ towards women who have to look at alter routes in order to have a child. 

Of course some ‘inventions’ of ensuring your baby doesn’t have a severe disease before you give birth could be abused. As the media have already begun branding this new and upcoming invention ‘the designer baby’. They are very critical and quick to judge. They brand all woman in the healthy category. They don’t take a moment to think about infectious disease, genetic illness and life threatening problems. The inventions above may help more women be able to have their own children and give birth to healthy children. 

It’s extremely difficult living with myself at this present time in my life. 

All I ever wanted as a little girl was to look womanly with boobs and a bum and have a baby girl. 

I had hoped to be marrying at 24 then thinking of having children at 28. At 24, I’m no where near those points and even though they are simple goals my current situation means they are more complex and require more thought.

Marriage - means someone having to commit to a complex way of life, a life that is one of many upsetting and difficult times. We live in a society where we are told we need to live, fast and live a full and happy life. Not commit to up and down health and doctors clinics. We love people too much to have the ones we truly care for commit to this way of life - so we lose them. 

Babies- Lyme bacteria drills its way through the baby’s placenta and can leave the new born with many horrible complications; nervous system problems, joint issues, brain complications and more. 

When you are already poorly you can’t afford or are able to fully support a child suffering like yourself. It’s hard enough getting through the day yourself! Again.. a man coming into the picture doesn’t want to know his partner is unable to give him healthy off spring.

We are left looking for alternatives; adoption, surrogatgy and so on. 

We are lucky in a way that celebrities do sometimes use the alternative ways themselves, as it helps it become more accepted. The last thing we need is guilt tripping and making us feel like we are a disappointment to the world because we can’t achieve the purpose of why we are placed on this Earth. 

I have seen and heard so many stories of Lyme paitents unknowingly passing on Lyme disease to their off-spring because they themselves didn’t know they had Lyme disease and were misdiagnosed. Only being diagnosed after giving birth. 

Maybe I am lucky in a sense. I know, and understand the reality I am faced with. I can look at the alternatives and can ensure I do what’s best for my off spring and myself. 

Too poorly to support children? 

No partner, an already strained family and your health too much for you to handle without even supporting a healthy child. 

We don’t live in ‘olden times’ where we must provide offspring. The world is growing, and is often seen as over populated rather than under populated. Although providing children is a priority to many it isn’t a demanding rule or role we have no choice to undertake. We have a choice and often choosing not to have children is the more sensible choice, despite what society may believe. In the long run it will work out more sensible for everyone. 

How do I live on without children? 

We all believe that leaving behind offspring is a way of leaving a legancy and living on through them. 

I am not saying that having children isn’t a way to leave your print on the world but also your children are their own people, they want and will make their own footprint on the Earth. You can expect them to live in your shadow. We all get our limited time on Earth that is ours and we expect to live our lives the way we want to, so we can’t expect our children not to do the same.

You will leave a legancy is many different ways, through love, career and so forth. Having children is an amazing addition to your life and story but not essential for a best seller. 

Everyone is having babies!?

I have reached that age where many of my friends are beginning to settle down. They have settled into their careers, found a partner and now are looking to create that family unit. With the Kardashian’s being so well known and famous, more than ever it’s going to become a ‘trend’ to start having children. It’s important to detach ourselves from all the baby craze surrounding us and think about your situation and the real commitment having a child is.

It’s not all glamorous, a breeze and simple. Like celebrities may paint it out to be. It’s hard work, it’s another full time job. Really think about if you can deal with it. You can’t just give a child back if you feel overworked, overwhelmed and tired. You have to support them 24/7. 

It’s not selfish to be honest and say you can’t support a child like you want to. It’s being sensible. 

Whatever your choice, make sure it’s right for you.

In terms of life plans, I am proof we can’t plan. We don’t know what cards, life is going to deal us. In the end we just have to focus of what we have got in our lives, what we can do and there are always alternatives. It’s never the same as the real thing but if it means you can get a step closer to happiness and your goal the alternatives are like a blessing from heaven. 

We are doing the best we can, within our circumstances. 




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