• Sophie Ward

Chronic Relationships

A hot topic on the Lyme Discussion UK group this week. Why?

Many express loneliness, negect and so on.

Their partners leave or distance themselves from the emotional and physical pain of being with someone who is suffering with illness chronic illness.. Why can’t their partner support their families or themselves? Why does the responsibilities fall on the partners? They can’t work two jobs to support medical bills, give up family plans due to health risks or deal with the emotional neglect. 

The poorly partner can’t look after themselves and their own needs without helping their partner with theirs. 

We all need support though and relationships are a two ways road. 

Partners leave to find better more secure and settled relationships and the ones who are ill, pray for the day they can help and support their loved ones. Being so poorly, means that many of us lose the ones we truly love. We miss out on the relationship fun life and also big life moments. 

Relationship break downs are hard for anyone but for someone who struggles to support themselves the severe fear and panic, along with the complete heart ache is beyond anything we can ever imagine. We all feel like our worlds are crushing down around us. 

I feel for both sides though. Many have expressed that they are having to go through messy divorces and break ups. Wondering if they can cope with children and their health. If they will be forever alone? They are lost and feel so alone. As for the partner they just want to breathe, they want to see and feel life without all the extra stress. There is nothing wrong with that but love should conquer all and if you truly love someone you find a way to make the relationship work.

It’s important not to be selfish. Remember your partner has lost their health, so maybe you can adapt to adopting rather than having your own children if it means you can still have a family. 

Relationships aren’t only romantic. But friendships and family relationships. Many experience loneliness in the sense that families freeze them out, unable to cope with the emotional strain of being around, supporting and dealing with a poorly family member or friend. 

Life is not perfect and yet everyday we look for perfection in many ways. We believe that life will be simple. That all will fall into place, we forget that loved ones will face trouble times whether its health, career or anything. We have to be strong enough to accept the harsh facts. Nothing will ever be perfect or simple. 

We may go searching for something better and leave the people we believe are causing us more issues and strains in life but even if we move on and the sun shines for a period of time we will always reach a storm in which we have to weather. 

We must be brave to really face realities and educate our minds and hearts on what is truly important. What really matters. Life is full of hurdles but we must not get clouded visions. Take off the beer goggles, and your heads out of the clouds. Realise that reality is tough but so are you. Don’t give up on something and someone because you think a better option lies in front of you. That’s reckless. Don’t be a coward, be a warrior. Love can’t be replaced . It can’t be healed by trying to live out a false dream and/or be ignored burying our heads in work. Don’t walk away because the honeymoon period has ended that should be the indication that the ride and story are just beginning.  This is the story. 

It may not be the story you thought you were getting into but you must make the best of it and ensure it’s a best seller. We have to accept, adapt and listen to our hearts over outside noises we don’t have to follow the rules the media bombard us with. We write our own rules. Be inspired and motivated to take on a more challeneging role in life, rather than looking at the situation negativity and wanting a ‘get out of jail’ card. 

People’s hearts are what matter, if you love someone - nothing is a barrier, distance, health, careers and / or families. 

To the ones experiencing break ups, divorces or heart ache. Be strong. Stay true to your heart and like they say, ‘If you love someone, you have to let them go.’ If they want to give up and walk out down fight them. They aren’t worth it, they aren’t worth your energy if they are willing to give up. 

Healing is a harsh process and takes time but we rise again in the end. We can’t change being poorly but we do have control of keeping a positive mindset and trying to experience the best life possible with the best people. That’s what matters. 

Love always.. 

you are never alone,



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