Learning From Great Interviews
Life is a constant lesson and we often don't realise that we are on a constant journey. We make mistakes and that is ok. It is part of the process. I often think to myself, what more can be doing? What's next? I am not enough.
Recently my health has been a heavy weight and burden I have been carrying around. I don't know the root of the problem and managing these issues day to day is beyond difficult. I bury myself in work and projects. Often not allowing myself time to breathe and re-group. I know I do it purposely. I know I do, I am my own worst enemy. It is like my escape. It proves to me why I have to keep fighting because their is a life out there. Allowing illness to cage me in, is something I NEVER want to happen. This fear drives me everyday to keep pushing myself, in any which way. Ambition is an attractive trait, in anyone and it is something I look for in people I connect with. As you grow, blossom and learn together. Ambition however can have its difficulties when your body is exhausted but your mind is still working 1000 miles per hour.
I am lucky to have amazing guests coming on my podcast channel, Chronic But Iconic and that is keeping me focused through the pain too. It keeps my mind on what matters in life, as we bring up important subjects surrounding chronic illness & life in general.
Although I have days when I am absent off social media because I simply, look and feel poorly, to struggling to write on here, stammering when doing my podcast and losing my train of thought. I would like to think sometimes it is a positive thing to take a step back, even though really despite not being so present, I am still working behind the scenes. To world and maybe to myself I seem to be backing off, I need to do more personally to take a step back. My latest interview with Lottie Amor has really touched me because she has such a healthy outlook and balance on life and her health. She doesn't put pressure on herself to complete work commitments or be restrictive. She allows herself time, REAL down time. Not down time and continuing to email, or write posts but going out, watching a movie ( without any guilt). This form of self-care and self-love I struggle with. I know I am poorly but it doesn't mean ( to me ) that it is an excuse not to work, not to fill my hours, not to keep pushing myself and so on. When I NEED to really find a good balance, a healthier balance. Be more accepting and LISTEN, listen to my body - not ignore warning signs as just 'a little bit of pain.' When really, if we are being truthful we know it is far more serious.
I am having no choice BUT to re-think my actions, my work/balance and there are so many obstacles to overcome. GUILT, rest time, 'offline time', working from home - often I discount the work I have done, because I am at home, so therefore it isn't work. When it is, and I have to treat it that way so I understand what I have been doing. Re-wiring your mind is a mission and a half and one I am being forced to practise way to be kinder to myself and find a healthier balance. I live for my work, because of the people I help and that helps me in turn. Often I forget about Sophie, I am so focused and have my mind on so many things that my health is affected and time just goes. So when you look back you question WHAT HAVE I DONE? We need to feed our whole hearts and souls to help find happiness in our lives.
So I may be here and there but I am trying to offer over all my social platforms the best level of support but also giving myself some support and understanding too. My stomach, is reaching breaking point and everyday gets harder to manage. So, I NEED to make the changes, I need to make sure I am feeding Sophie's heart and soul too because none of us know what lies ahead.
It will be a mission and a half and it is a challenge balancing everything but I am focused on making steps to a better balance. I am exhausted from pain, run down and I need to enjoy and appreciate life too.
I am so thankful to all my guests, and I am loving the interviews we are carrying out and the subject that are being raised. They are so helpful and inspiring for the listeners. I too, am learning a lot. Thank you and I can't wait for this platform to keep growing any improving.