I am writing a quite detailed blog today as this will be one of my last ones for three weeks.
I have enjoying the last of my home comforts whilst packing for our business study tour - I have been eating lots of banana nice cream, frozen grapes ( my new obsession ) - so good, CEREAL, paella, peanut coconut noodles. Going to miss all these. Although I hope there is papaya - I am missing my papaya from Marbella - yum, with coconut milk, lime, banana and cacao. DELICIOUS. So hoping there will be some of that around and grapes I can just have normally.
I made Mama bear an allergy free cheesecake birthday cake for her pre-birthday celebrations, and ate most of the cashew nuts whilst making the base - I ate so many I nearly didn't have enough to complete this 8 inch base (baring in mind I had three packets) OOPS. I do love though - who would have known that I used to hate nuts!! The cheesecake was tropical flavour - blueberries, mangos and passion fruit were included, topped with edible gold and edible flowers ( although the flowers didn't taste great I appreciate my fam accepting the 'allergy-free' cake and not bothering about having a normal one.
Today I am feeling strong - I always talk about doing things for myself and actually doing what I want not things to 'please' people and last night I did.
Normally I would over-think and worry, work up guilt and be anxious about 'making the wrong decision' , 'letting people down' and do you know what - I didn't feel one bit guilty.
I had a bloody good night catching up with friends - close friends, supportive friends.
And its made me feel so good and stronger. Proud of myself.
I also have got the 'Vegan' app that one of my YouTuber's I watch recommended and it's ace! You can meet people, chat, debate, ask questions and get them answers, join groups.
And I have been struggling with how much I need to eat etc.. and there are nutritionists and dietitians from around the world on this app. You can chat to them in a group or personally. I am talking to a few of them - they are all really friendly and willing to help. After all that's why they are on the app.
They have really opened my eyes and I didn't realise somethings and where I may be going wrong. They have given me a rough idea how many calories are in my dishes I regularly eat, what I need to eat and about my metabolism , with me eating more it will speed up as its trying to provide me energy and heal me. So this app is educating me.
People post recipes, the food they are enjoying, products etc - it's an amazing app. I am grateful to have found it and I have only had it 2 days now but with vegans from all across the world on it I am hoping that I can easily find people to help me in all areas of this lifestyle - like when I am travelling they have group chats - example 'vegans in Italy' where they discuss restaurants, products and make friends - which could come in handy if I need restaurant advice when travelling.
So feeling positive about that - check it out!!
It's simply called 'vegan' with an apple icon available on the app store :) it is also free! BONUS.
At the beginning of the week I did feel really irritated I would say - but I have been thinking, a lot.
Back to my swimming days.
When I used to swim, it was just me I was in the zone, I felt the pain, I created the success and put the hard work in. Yes I had guidance and support, from family, friends and my coach. All my life I have believed that they are the true hero's - they helped, supported, trained me and made me strong, I never and have never taken credit for myself. Yes they are hero's and I am SO grateful for their support and training but at the end of the day the only one on those blocks at that moment was ME. I was the one swimming, watching people actually get up and clap me sometimes because of my swim, fighting to get further and further ahead, feeling the pain everywhere ( maybe that's why sometimes when I feel pain I think its good because it used help me gain success and strength so now I still try to fight through the pain to gain success when I have to accept I can't due to my health and that the pain I now feel is different.) Though I won that race, I was successful - 'I', 'ME'. My coach, my parents (sometimes) would doubt me and I would be determined to prove them wrong.
I need to see that I was the hero.
I still am. My body may not be like it used to be - but its doesn't mean I have lost any strength, power or success - it's just all in another way.
So now I can apply this to my healing, books and cooking.
I won those races because of the hard work, determination and fight I put in and I now apply that to my cooking ( you all see my snaps - of me getting excited of over my creations and Matthew hates how long it takes me to plate up, take pictures and admire my creations.)
I need to appreciate myself more and realise the hard work and hours I put in will in the end pay off because I am a determined and motivated person - I am always hitting (hurdles and brick walls - like everyone does ) but as they day if you come across a wall, build a door.
I plan to do just that.
With Shield Crest behind me, support from my family, advice from the vegan community, MY cooking skills and determination the word will be spread and I can share success.
This is my life - it didn't go to plan, but there must be a reason and right now I am enjoying cooking, writing my books, and healing and although it's a very hard, tiring, challenging journey, I know in the end I will make it all work out and awesome.
I matter, I deserve the things I thought I didn't, I don't need to feel guilt and I appreciate my successes so far in life and work 'I' put in, I am the one who creates my successes and failures.
Life changing thoughts - habits to break.
Hopefully I can really focus in Croatia and really work on these areas I have highlighted today.
I have given family members and friends packets of Goodie's Good Stuff sweets to try and everyone ha come back and been really positive about them. They all loved them and really enjoyed them.
I think I prefer them more than your normal sweets - they aren't so chewy you feel your teeth may drop out and I don't think they are as heavy and sickly.
So really happy about that as they are my FAVE cinema snack and take them every week when I go.
This week has had some beautiful memories - so check out my YouTube video from this week and I will try and vlog and create videos when I can. Big shout out's to Jacob, Matthew and Jourdan for making my week postive and enjoyable. And my book is busy being edited as we speak - so exciting - I simply can't wait.
Thank you for reading.
And cheers to exciting time ahead - let's fly!
Love and peace to you all.
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.