Thank you for checking in today. Here is my struggle through the way I enjoy & find easiest to explain the struggle; poetry.
Enjoy, and I hope you find it eye opening.
I ache more than anyone knows,
This I pray never truly shows,
The hurt within,
Well where do I begin,
Love, laughter and joy,
I love to see others enjoy,
The brain fog,
Help, guidance and my journey I tell through my blog,
Haunts me through the night,
A lonely disease,
Does not put you at ease,
You hide and lie about the pain,
You don't want to be the doom and gloom who causes it to rain,
What do your words help you gain,
They often just make you look more insane,
I may look like I have it all together,
Though the darkest storms daily I do weather,
Feel the aches,
I am willing to do whatever it takes,
To nolonger be plagued by pain,
To feel the sun not the rain,
Padded with cushions to keep the pain at reasonable level,
The pain burns through you like the devil,
Travelling is so tough,
You become so exhausted and just have had enough,
In and out of cars and on and off trains,
Your body can't handle the strains,
The heavy doors,
The different floors,
All the bags cause your arms to burn,
Trying to work out tricks to learn,
Hiding your weaknesses because you feel embarrassed and sad,
Getting to the destination makes you glad,
Food how I love you,
I just wish I could eat and taste you,
Spicy chilli peppers don't affect me,
How can that be,
Those beautiful flowers you smell,
Their presence in the room I can not tell,
Everything tastes like plastic,
I can no longer bounce back like a band made of elastic,
I miss the foods I adore,
Part of experiencing the culture when you go to explore,
Maybe I will eat what I love one day,
Daily to myself I say,
I can see part of you,
The other part is a blurred version of you,
I feel drunk without a drink,
Always tipsy you may think?
Losing balance using walls as my friends,
A support they lend,
Rashes decorate my body,
Red and purple bumps dotted over my body,
My spine aches,
Bending and just walking so difficult this makes,
Sickness and stomach upsets are the norm,
Just smile - they won't know you aren't on form,
Causes major destress,
Lifting your aching arms,
You have so many amazing clothes touching your palms,
Trendy goes out of the window we have to go for comfort and ease,
So save the judgments please,
Feel free to judge me,
I have to let your words simply be,
For if you could walk in my shoes for just one day,
You would wonder how I cope everyday,
Would you give up and call time?
Letting the winner be Lyme?
Would you even move out of bed?
Oh the pain in your head,
Feeling like you have drunk ten bottles of wine,
Though telling people you are 'fine',
Your head, joints and limbs feel like a bus has run over you,
The daily struggle and pain you have to go through,
Life is no longer a constant pleasure,
Memories and people you truly treasure,
Feeling like death makes you realise to be grateful,
One day - you may feel beautiful,
Going with the flow,
More like on a go slow,
Once fit, healthy and care free,
God I wish that was still me,
My mind and heart stubborn and strong,
It's how I have fought for so long,
I fight for life and still push myself to feel it,
Cherishing every little bit,
I don't sit in bed all day,
I fight to help, make a different and live in every way,
I may not always look well, happy and smile,
Just to stand infront of you took me a while,
So when you sit next to me,
Will you within me see,
The battle I am fighting through,
Does my struggle mean anything to you?
I don't want sympathy only support,
This disease is a sort,
Want to walk in my shoes?
Go on try - what do you have to lose?
Think it's easy and just a little pain,
Let's see if you can handle the strain,
You have to be strong,
To handle the pain for so long,
Sit by me,
Maybe you will see,
Past my pain to the person that really is me,
I am fighting to be,
So don't judge me,
I am under construction fighting purely for me.
Thank you for reading.
Let me know your thoughts.
Love and peace
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.