Having all my main support around me last night was truly amazing. Many of them I had missed greatly as due to our manic busy lives we rarely get to see eachother. Even more rare is getting everyone together.
I am so thankful & grateful to everyone for making the effort for me and showing more than ever their love and support.
I must thank Matthew for cooking everyone's dinner, my amazing Mama for bringing lots of snacks, drinks, food in general, entertainment & helping set up, the sun for putting its hat on and coming out for us, and everyone for their chats, presence and entertainment.
The sun shone for a reason yesterday - I truly believe.
It came out to prove there is a reason to keep fighting there is a reason why we battle through the darker days. We live for moments like yesterday.
The moments that bring us all together, where love is felt and laughter is shared.
Today has hit me emotionally.
Yesterday meant so much to me truly. I can't explain or truly understand myself how much it touched me.
When you are going through your gloomiest times in life. When just getting through the day is an achievement and you watch your friends, family and loved ones out enjoying themselves, you unable to join them. It was comforting to be included to have everyone around and enjoying seeing everyone happy around me.
It makes and reminds you that you do belong. Everyone around me yesterday understands my struggles and sees my agony.
I unfortunately live as two people - one that shows her suffering - cries, breaks down and accepts her pain. The other is the brave hero, the one unaffected by pain, the bright smile, the laugh, the dressed up to the nine's and hair done properly girl.
The one that looks fine.
I can play her well. She is a stronger part of me than maybe she should be.
Maybe the vulnerable side of me should be the side of me people see more of.
I have never wanted that though. Purely through pride and wanting people to remember me before the virus's within me had taken more control and presence.
The girl that was always laughing - always had the giggles.
Now I barely laugh.
Though yesterday I did - a rare occurrence that proves despite not feeling you anymore and feeling alien to yourself as many times your mind & body no longer feels your or one you know. Events like yesterday prove you & your soul are stillthere. Still there.
The more we fight in time that you will begin ever more to once again shine through.
It's heartbreaking that after such fun and amazing events you suffer. Truly exhausted that I was struggling to keep my eyes open come 10pm last night. I am proud I got through the whole event but it saddens me greatly how I struggle to make it through a simple event like a BBQ. Just talking wipes me out. How can that be? The stress of hoping all went smoothly, then ( although very much helped by Mama & Matthew ) entertaining everyone you tire quicker than you care to admit.
Here and now - my blog is late for me because it's been a slow day. An emotional day coming to terms with the extra pain after such a brilliant event! Why does your body reward you with the extra pain. Chronic illness fun - I guess.
A fact and a pill hard to swallow but one we have to work with and accept.
One of the many problems we face daily that normal people don't understand or can get their heads around.
I pray for the day that I can make it through a whole event, go out after and feel the buzz of happiness the next day, feeling good and pumped up. Not drained, emotional and exhausted.
All learning curbs.
Jeeze, life really does test me with its lessons.
I hope you all have had a beautiful weekend and have enjoyed it with the people that matter most to you. Creating memories and moments that we will forever keep close to our hearts. Don't waste your time on thoughtless, selfish people who drain your energy bringing their negative vibes. Our time is limited - spend it with the people who matter and create special moments.
This week will be a manic one no doubt. Seeing people last minute, appointments and packing up ready for a week's treatment at Breakspear.
I hope to have a fun week so that next week I will have the motivation when the hardest times arise.
Share - hugs, love and kindness.
The best gifts in life are free.
Make someone's day.
And finally thank you again to all who came yesterday- I can't explain how much it means to me! The absolute world 🌎🌎🌎
Love and peace
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.