For A Minute There I Lost Myself.

July 21, 2017

'It's okay to be a glowstick, sometimes we have to break to shine!'



The final day. 

The final day. Sigh of relief.


I am battered, bruised & feeling exhausted.

After a really rough night - being sick and generally feeling unwell. 

Cold, burning, sick, sore throat, stomach ache and headaches. 

It's a lot to deal with.


I don't remember this morning - I don't remember getting up, going for breakfast or arriving at Breakspear. Nor did I know where I was or what time it was when falling asleep whilst hooked up to the infusions.

I guess it's all part of the fun of brain fog & Lyme. 


I was so confused. 

I hate being confused and trying to piece together in my mind when I have missed things and trying to work out what I have missed without asking and looking silly. 


I felt so awful this morning. So unwell. I can't tell you how hard it truly is to keep going and keep positive. I don't have the frame of mind to really talk and make sense. So you keep yourself to yourself and don't make conversations with other patients & nurses. You are too exhausted to think straight and you are just trying to deal with the pain and function normally. 

This zaps you of your energy. The little energy you have. 



I got a little upset earlier because when you feel your body giving you such hell you wonder and question what have you done? Can I trade my body in for a new one?


There are so many people that seem to go through life and all falls into place whilst others suffer true daily torture. 

Often the best & kindest people of the world.




We have to see it as the true hero's are born because they fought the toughest battles. To keep us motivated.


My morning was quite a calm one. Testing foods I eat daily. So they came back with low numbers and my tolerance was good towards them.  


I then got hooked up to my boyfriend the IV line for 2 x liver detoxes.  


These heightened my burning.. it was not pleasant. You get so irritated but you try to stay calm, watching it slowly drip into you. Just wanting it in! Unfortunately this is the one and only time you want you boyfriend to be able to run away and leave you. 


We can't have what we want all the time though.  


I managed to walk back for some fresh air. My legs were going numb, so I knew they needed to move to get the feeling back into them.  




Now, I can't wait to get home! Enjoy home comforts, see friends & family and chill.  


Just have to make it through the journey! 

But the light at the end of the tunnel ( for this time - is visible.)  


We will return once again in nine days time.  

I need to set up home here. Luckily the Premier Inn are amazing. They keep my vaccines frozen for me, accomadate me with my dietary requirements and always put themselves out for us. So very grateful for their hard work, support and kindness.  


Reduces a lot of stress for us.  

Thank you. 



I hope you all have enjoyed a blessed week.  

Let's keep raising awareness about Lyme now that children have broken up from school & keep following the blog for updates, info and much more.  


Love and peace  



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Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN. 

Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.

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