Summer, summer, summer my favourite season. So more than ever it's so depressing to not be feeling well enough to enjoy all the joys that comes with summer.
The gatherings, meet ups, late nights, BBQ's, holidays, travels, day trips, cocktails and much more.
It's heartbreaking. Its amazing seeing everyone out and about enjoying themselves but on top of all your pain, to have to accept you can't enjoy those experiences really hits you.
You just have to make everyday as good as you possibly can.
People don't think or consider you or your feelings because they just think 'ah she is bed.' Or it kills you when you have to turn down arrangements due to not feeling well enough.
I can't really sit here and say that I am not hurting from not being able to do more. I am hurting more than ever.
I am trying to be constructive though, emailing important contacts, eating, resting & trying to work out how to raise as much awareness as I can.
At 23 to be pretty much bedridden when you are used to always being busy, traveling, enjoying friends & family is more is hard.
This is the part of my life I should be living life to the fullest and I can't. It's not sympathy I want or people to stop living - no way. It's just difficult for us who suffer with chronic illness.
Many lose friends, family connections & more due to being unable to enjoy what their peers are and what they arrange to do.
I am lucky to have a strong family & friend circle who despite knowing I may not be up to whatever they have in mind will still ask and consider you in their plans. Which means a lot.
Many suffering from chronic illness aren't as lucky and will spend their seasons stuck between the same four walls extremely lonely.
Whether you know a family member or a friend going through illness - please don't allow them to become lonely or feel isolated.
You & your efforts more than you will ever know & understand mean the world to them.
Whether it's just getting them out for half and hour for some fresh air or a quick drink it makes our days a little more bareable, brighter and again reminds us why & what we are fighting for. Even a phone call goes a long way and means a lot.
I am lucky to have a busy week next week with opportunities and moments that will become memories I will cherish forever. These plans are what gives you something to keep fighting for and that will shape my summer. They become your light. You hope and pray your body will comply & work in your favour so you can live these moments you do have to live them to the fullest and enjoy every minute.
It's soul destroying not having any major travel plans to keep me motivated. My love for travel has never faded and a beach break sounds like bliss but I have to fight everyday as it comes. I have to accept I may have to give up my summers and not use them as effectively as I would have liked to. I need rest days and may be too poorly. Who knows - how many summers, Christmas periods etc I may 'lose' due to bad days but it makes you really appreciate and cherish the good days you do have. On these days rain or shine, hot or cold and no matter what season - we have to use them to the fullest trying to do the activities we may have previously missed out on so then you feel like you have still experienced them.
The experiences you receive may be slightly different than you imagine or how they would have been but you still get to bank them in the memories of you life and story.
You aren't letting or allowing illness defeat you and enabling you to miss out on the life you deserve.
True friends and family if you have to rearrange or wait a few weeks/ months will totally understand and will just look forward to having those moments with you.
We can't focus on the fact it's summer I am not living it how I wanted and hoped.
See it as it's not my time to do that yet. It's not the right moment for me.
In times of frustration towards our bodies & illnesses.
We must remember to try to use our time in the best way we can.
We may not have managed that meal out but instead I caught up on some well needed sleep or contacted a long distant friend.
Negatives to positives.
And I always like what could be seen as 'rest' days to still have a purpose ( in anyway shape or form.)
I hope this blog helps, helps us warriors who today we got out of bed, sat in a chair and baked food. Tiring us out, as if we had climbed Mount Everest.
We may not be out frying food on the BBQ drinking and dancing but boy are we the only strongest people living.
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.