‘She remembered who she was! Then the game changed.’
We are told we are crazy and our illness doesn’t exist because the textbooks tell us that a short stint of treatment cures your illness.
Yet, research is showing that even if people do seek the recommended treatment that 7-12 people still go on suffering, not to forget to mention all the people who go on suffering from being misdiagnosed and not receiving immediate treatment at the time of infection.
Our disease is seen to have a cure, yet despite obvious evidence against this claim nobody wants to do anything but call us insane.
I used to be offended by being called crazy - now I see it as a drive. Doctors and consultants call me that because not only as a person but my disease is a threat to them. So they try to pull me down & be little me so that I keep quiet, they can remove me causing as little upset to their textbook practise as possible and their reputations.
Insurance companies won’t pay out for treatment for a disease that doesn’t exist nor has a direct, effective treatment because then they are out of pocket.
Drug companies won’t fund research because they will be out of pocket as people won’t be buying endless pills if there is a treatment & cure.
Doctors and consultants aren’t educated, they aren’t pushed by drug companies to expand their knowledge so they can sell more pills and profit back. They are often ‘dumbed’ down or told what they need to tell patients - 2 weeks of antibiotics. So they don’t question why there hasn’t been more research.
Health professionals are sued & have their licenses suspended by insurance companies & councils for treating people with chronic Lyme, a fantasy illness, that couldn’t possibly need 30+ years of expensive treatments to simply stabilise a person.
The Governments, councils and State officials won’t fund research and treatment to a cause that is widely unknown and extremely complex. They have a million and one other top priorities on their list that will gain them popularity & more money to be wasting time on a disease that is labelled ‘fake’ and not a danger. As Lyme is never put as the cause of death on the death certificate as it causes other issues that cost you, your fate. So to statics Lyme isn’t a killer, not a threat to human health.
We forget that as people we aren’t valued, we are chess pieces - used effectively to help gain power and money for people we put our faith and hope in.
I hope through my work that I can be someone who people can relate and overtime do create change whether it’s big or small, against the waves pushing against me.
The world is a cruel and greedy place.
I definitely never want to become someone like that.
I watched a documentary on drugs. How drug companies did nothing to the drug to improve it or change it but just increased the price by thousands so people who relied on this drug for their lives were forced to become homeless to pay for their drug. The drug companies didn’t care that they were putting already sick and vulnerable people in a life or death situation and draining them of their finances. Leaving them sick and penny-less. They were making a profit and gaining more money so why would they care?
Unfortunately that is the horrible world we live in.
People ask me- so what now? What’s next?
I don’t yet have the answer.
I don’t want to go spending endless amounts of money & I don’t also want to feeling endless pain.
The truth is I don’t just fight my body everyday, I have to fight the people who are trained & who’s career is around supposedly caring for me.
The NHS have spent millions and I means millions of pounds suing private medical centres treating chronic Lyme patients. They shouldn’t be using our money to sue people who are actually helping and trying to aid our health and that aren’t draining their resources! The end result is even the courts get angry at them and that millions of pounds is lost to a silly cause, as they lose their arguement.
It’s all about egos.
Instead of championing or willing to be the Shepherd, rather than the sheep. They pull down, and try to take down anyone that threats their position.. within any field. Yet it is always at the expense of the people.
What also causes me upset is the my disease isn’t recognised, my health isn’t taken seriously and I am left to find thousands of pounds for treatment that may stabilise me, may backfire but my family and myself are left to suffer.
My disease isn’t deemed terminal even though it is.. but by Government and medical standards it is not.
So I am left feeling trapped, trapped in a body I fight against everyday to function for me.
For a day when my body no longer responds to me pushing it to function.
There is no drug I can take to relieve the pain, or stop my body from attacking itself.
I am can’t just cut limbs off or sleep the fatigue off.
I can’t decide I don’t want my body anymore as exchange it for another one.
This week and recently my mood has been pretty low.
On realising my reality I had to just cry. Not only does my illness cause me endless suffering that I can’t control but it does my family to. And now the ignorance of Governments and the health community worldwide means I can’t even save my loved ones from the suffering I never wanted them to endure.
I felt heartbroken. I am lucky so lucky that my condition at present isn’t any worse. With that though does brings high expections of myself , the daunting prospect and mental torture of realising yourself and health are fading. At just 24.
I have so far conquered, adapted and accepted every task that have been handed to me.
Maybe this extremely annoying and upsetting hurdle has been made for me to dig deeper than ever before and maybe create change. Change. Change that is so desperately needed across the board. I ask myself do I have the strength to keep God damn fighting.. I feel like I’ve annoyed & contacted everyone.
I know when I am down I feel like I am banging my head against a very high brick wall and then other days I wake up believeing I can be a Grace Kelly figure.. giving up her hobbies and first career path to serve the people, & make create change on the world stage ( we can all dream big ). Life never plans out how we imagined - we have a choice to sit and watch the world simply go by, or we can be productive and really challenge the world.
I have my blips and days I want to give up.. but I work through them, only rising with my frustration and determination to make the best of everything.
Nobody can make any judgements on how people live and carry out their lives with chronic illness because my God are we giving it our best shot. I may annoy the MP’s, Presidents, media outlets, scientists but you have to be in the game to win it right?
Corruption may serve a period of domination but these fools never learn from history when they realise their world’s may rise beyond the stars, they look down on us all and use us a puppets but the fall is far greater than the rise & is far more long lasting.
The fight go on.. & so do I.
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.