After all the stress, planning and illness that had plagued Mama and I beforehand- we pulled off a show.
Firstly, I think it’s incredibly important to start with a huge thank you to all attended on Saturday. So many had travelled far and wide, from across the U.K! With everyone’s manic schedules we are so incredibly grateful that you gave us your precious time. I hope you think it was worth it. You all made the night so, so very special.
With business friends, God parents, Mother and baby group pals, family, work friends, life long friends, Alex’s crew, Mama’s best friend & my own. We looked around at a room filled with the people who make our lives ( as a family ) so very precious, special and worth fighting for. Unfortunately some loved ones weren’t able to make it, but they were in our hearts.
After, sending out 110 invites we felt like we had only done about 5.. Alex and Papa didn’t want to leave anyone out. We couldn’t keep the numbers at a sensible number. We are truly rich and blessed as a family to have such a wide range of amazing people in our lives. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. As a family you are all so, so special.
Secondly, the next point that must be raised is the fabulous work my dearest Mama bear does. The boys had no clue what the theme was or their surprises.
I knew as soon as they turned the lights to red when viewing the venue that the themed had to be F1..
But how to make the night different?
Everyone including Alex has done the photo booth idea. So I did my research and found a company who set up F1 simulators for parties. Perfect, nobody will have thought of this quite frankly mad idea. As Monroe said - ‘madness is genius.’ We all know I have a screw loose. With that - I sent Mama all the details and she agreed this was the perfect idea.
All was booked and sorted.
My plans are the wild and Mama is the person who really puts the wheels into motion and makes my ideas come to life. She personally decorated all the tables and showed off her creative flare.
She deserves the world for what she does! I know you will all be able to tell the heart and love we both put into the night for the boys. This was their night and they had everyone they wanted there to share it with them.
Life is hard. Beyond hard! Nights like this are proof of why we survive and battle through the rough, dark days.
Days like now.
Beyond feeling naff, it’s not that you don’t have drive to do something, I just can’t. My mind is just so, so tired. So is my body.
As per- I always push my body. Unable to resist the chips made my throat swell and I paid the price for my greedy eyes.
My joints are throbbing like hell because of the wheat, my migraines are worse & my chest is tight- my lungs feeling like they are filling up and my brain is on snooze mode. Talking even being a difficult job. I don’t know why I do it, but every time I am out around loved ones, I panic. Like hell. Most of the time I don’t feel in control of my own brain and I say things. Sometimes just things that I can remember - who knows if its linked the the conversation or even made sense. I get my words mixed up and tire quickly. I don’t want my loved ones thinking I am a fool, losing my mind and lacking intelligence. They are so used to the fearless, strong athlete. Now it’s not the 200 butterfly that leaves me feeling legless, it’s standing up for 30 minutes. My brother is the life and soul of the party and so easy going, charismatic and fun. I don’t want to be the boring one ( even though I know I am). I try, so hard to show my strengths and laugh at my weaknesses. This is often a challenge.
I don’t want to let myself down, embarrass myself or let my parents down. I am already a nightmare without people thinking I am losing my mind.
Sunday.. Sunday was a day where adrenaline was still running high. Lack of sleep and exhaustion was not bothering me at all. My symptoms for my sins were however.
I ached like crazy, my voice was hoarse from being so swollen and my brain really didn’t want to work.
Every time I sat down my legs felt like my veins were vibrating from the heat of fire.
I knew it was all the sugar I had eaten.. but as always continued to fill my plate with dried fruit.
My ankles were throbbing. After dancing fine to losing control over them and just making it to the chair. That’s never happened to me before. Despite the pain, I just took my shoes off and attempted to continue but then soon realising I should make my dancing excuses and take a seat.
Monday.. again, I was still in the Saturday party cloud. Symptoms were bothering me but I was able to be proactive.
Tuesday - flop. Dead and gone! This is the day you just want to cry. You try to do tasks but they take double the time, are 100x harder and you get so fustrated.
Time.. time moves so fast yet when you have days like these the clock hardly moves. I can’t even tell you what I am waiting for it to move for? I am not going to miraculously recover when the clock strikes 6. I think it’s just me.. wishing for the day to be over so I can mark it as another day I somehow survived.
A doctor said to US council that he had treated both Lyme & Cancer patients. Cancer patients wanted to live, Lyme patients wanted to die.
People wonder why I spend my life planning, organising and trying to see friends and family.
I don’t expect people to fully understand my reasonings. But they make the hard days acceptable and doable. When I was in hospital, I seriously thought I would die in there- four white walls, being neglected, hungry and far from home. I had nothing to look forward to. Not even food! Just the daily torture of 8 nuts whilst everyone ate a two course dinner and heightened symptoms. I got to see my friends and family but once they had gone my day turned black once again. I tried my best to be cheery and frankly I was the cheeriest out of everyone but I felt like I no longer wanted to fight.
To this day, I continue to fight the system, fight the doctors who should be treating me and driving change in Government. Right there I felt like the fight was over. I think I did what any human being would do- chose the food to fill my stomach and face the symptoms that could be fatal over starving and be labelled insane.
Still to this day I pick the food. In the end my vision of being invincible will probably catch up with me. Life can never be pain free or easy whichever options I chose. I just wish it was easier.
I wish I was normal... loading my plate high with pizza 🍕 at Pizza Hut, eating cheese on toast and chips and beans. The good old, swimmers ‘veggie’ grub. I have a lot of successes to owe the above dishes!!
I enjoy and love my food but I hate feeling worse after everything I put in my mouth. Now.. I am used to it. I deal with the itching, swollen throat, migraines, digestive problems, joint pain and so forth. I have to opt for food that will support my red blood count ( green veg) and protein. Over what I would really love to eat. My life can never go with the flow.
Plans, give me the strength and purpose to keep fighting on.
I survive everyday, my life is a struggle. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone and that’s why I will do all I can to prevent others from suffering with this horrific disease.
I look forward to many more social events and time with my loved ones. That’s worth more than gold.
I have a choice everyday. I could stay in the hospital and be fed antibiotics fighting an army that no matter what method of attack you show, has already blown you out of the water. Feeling pain and suffering regardless or living and experiencing all I possibly can. Being proactive, hopefully driving change and knowing I rallied my own army, I didn’t wait for my allies to cross the seas.
Earlier this year my friend told me to make a bucketlist.. for a day like today I think that’s a great exercise to do.
Again.. thank you so much!
You all made the night one we will all forever cherish, and here’s to many more amazing nights together.
‘It’s not what we have in life, it’s who we have that matters.’
Feeling sluggish and rubbish when you have woken up? Get boosting up on bananas the more the better - they will help settle your stomach, boosting digestion, they are a mood enhancer, they will give you the energy you need and keep you full. Buy my book for banana receipe ideas.
Wake up every morning and ATLEAST have one glass of lemon water before doing anything else! Ideally try to drink a litre of water. The lemon wakes up your digestive system ready for the day and has great cleansing properties.
Check your dairy and meat intake - dairy can sit in your system for up to seven days unable to digest properly. Meaning other foods also get neglected and nurtients aren't absorbed properly and you feel extremely bloated. Go and smell your food bin, your stomach will be in that state. Rotting foods in your belly - hmm nice.
DO NOT FEAR CARBS - THEY ARE NOT THE ENEMY! CARB UP!!
Bananas, Rice, Potatoes, Leafy Greens, Corn, Beans, Lentils etc PACK THEM IN GO MAD.
NEVER COUNT CALORIES - NEVER RESTRICT!! These restriction 'starvation' diets who tell you to only eat 500 calories a day then have a treat day - where you binge out and eat WAY too much, is simply messing up your metabolism and on your binge days yours body stores all the fat meaning you gain weight because it knows it is going to go back into starvation mode and needs to hold onto every little thing it can. HELLO WEIGHT GAIN.
Life is too short not to live it to the full, making yourself happy.