Managing symptoms lately has been a little harder than I thought they would be. I thrive on busy days and hectic schedules but boy sometimes, I just can't deal and adapt to my situations.
Now many of us have lots of different triggers in many different ways. Whether its emotionally, physically, the climate, lack of sleep, lack of food and so on. So many factors, affect ultimately how we deal with - LIFE and our schedules. Holiday was of course, AMAZING but it was a rollercoaster. It wasn't a fun chillax time because I was so set on having a great time, that trying to balance my emotions and symptoms to achieve this was far from straight forward like I hoped it would be ( nothing ever is!) I know, I should know that by now. Balancing everything and trying to soak up, enjoy and live in the moment is extremely hard when you have a lot of 'background' noise. I came back from holiday, wishing I had two more weeks...
The flight and the travel zap me and I felt so drained before even kick starting back into 'reality.' The first few days were awful, so slow, yet I knew I had lots to do that couldn't wait any longer to be sorted. This is essence has backfired a bit because I am feeling totally wiped out now. Lytham Festival is full on in more ways than one. Really, you need to be fully rested and be stocked up with sugar to power through.
Night one, was easy. So easy. The music I enjoyed I managed to tolerate long periods of sitting and standing. I felt optimistic about the week ahead. I felt I had it in the bag, a stroll in the park.
By night two, I was tired. Lack of sleep for my pulsing head pain from the music the night before had prevented me from resting up. The music was so influenced by bass that my whole body ached as it got vibrated by the beat and my eye ached with the pressure in my head. I couldn't stand it, I had to run for cover in the pub across the road. With walls - walls THANK GOD.. shields.
By night three I was flagging... Last year, I did a total of 3 night and only 2 one after the other.. so this was a first to do 3 in a row. I felt it.
Lack of sleep, rushing around, travelling, people, lack of food, crowds and the change in the weather were really affecting me badly. My insides still throbbed from the night before, I was coming down with a water infection and I felt emotionally not just physically drained.
The night was fun, with good music and great artists. I am glad I got through it and saw it all but I was wacked.
Night four.. you guessed it, walking, talking, motivation and EVERYTHING was difficult. Being Saturday, the crowds were far, far greater and so was the drunken madness. Which for a start puts me on edge. There is nothing worse when you have drunken people SCREAMING at you, pushing you , pulling you and totally out of it. It ruins the whole vibe and puts the people who aren't drinking and in that state on edge because we don't know WHAT they may do next. So yes, the acts were fab. Great voices, but my mind was drifting. I was cold, in pain, emotional, tired and just drained. I am guilty of pushing myself to live as much as possible and in many ways I know my limits but in other ways there are certain aspect of my health limitations I can't get my head around and so continue to challenge them.
In a way this is good because I won't accept an answer without proof but in some ways I cause myself a lot on pain in the process. Managing all this is just another 'trouble' that many on the outside don't consider.
I can't just grab a pizza slice or some chips from inside the festival if I am hungry and they don't allow you to take food in.
I can't stand for five hours, for five nights.
I can't just have an energy drink and feel refreshed.
IF ONLY LIFE WAS THAT SIMPLE.
Overthinking causes a huge amount of stress, but in our case it has to be done.. we can't just go with the flow.
We have our shopping bag for of EVERYTHING we have to consider weighing us down, everyday.
So night 5... I think its fair to say I won't make it back.
I woke up unable to feel my legs and in an utter panic. My tummy is playing up and my kidneys from my water infection are still giving me pain. MY HEAD - well at this point I wish it wouldn't be screwed on.
With tonight being classical and not REALLY my thing, although I'd love to say I did all five nights and saw the whole festival.
Classical isn't my thing, can I sit in the breezy cloud for 6 hours? Probably not.. So I am unsure whether in reality it really isn't a good idea me going and tiring myself out further. Yet, the other part of me is the athlete - telling me I am on the home run, reach the finish line.
OH how I hate DECISIONS - why can't circumstances be a little more straight forward, a little clear cut.
I guess that wouldn't be life then.
With a busy week, well first weeks - can I manage it all?
All chronic disease sufferer's know the struggle.