Yesterday, was another amazing opportunity and experience for me as I was a guest on Victoria Derbyshire talking about hernia mesh repairs.
As I have previously stated it is a very sore subject for me. I guess through my recent health battles, past hurt and injury has been hidden away a little. I have focused on my mission and passion to protect people and help myself re-gain self-worth and purpose. I have come a long way mentally in just a few months but it doesn't mean the pain is any less.
I can't rewind, I can't rewrite and I can't erase what has happened and occurred previously. A lot of it I didn't have control over, like many of us don't and often that hurts far more because we can't 'put right' our wrongs. However we do have a choice in how we view our circumstances and situations. I often hide a lot of the hurt I harbour on a daily basis because negativity spread negativity and that isn't what we need or something a positive role model would do. I try to be as open and honest as humanly possible so people can relate and feel less alone.
Anyway I can help, I always will.
I have never really considered the huge risks of having a hernia mesh repair. I was just 13 in the height on my swimming career. I listened to the professionals and adults around me The risks of nerve damage were so low that I never considered I would be within that percentage. I had believed that all would be okay and it was just key hole surgery, nothing severe.
I knew what an awful few years it was going from consultant to consultant and having treatments after treatments but getting nowhere. I was losing my health, my passion and sense of self. It was a dark time in many ways. Yet, with the added bonus of Lyme Disease ahead of me, I never considered what purely, beyond words HORRIBLE days I had to come.
I sound ungrateful.. I am not. I have had some AMAZING, INCREDIBLE days and times that I will cherish forever within these 11 years. I still mourn my swimming career and it's tragic end but I also am so very thankful to the path fate has led me on. I have, after SO many years begun to find myself and yes, I still have days where I question myself. I have however become far more grateful for life and that is a massive lesson I do not regret. It has made me become a far more positive person and a stronger one.
I hope in time we can receive and see some justice for mesh repair sufferers. I have to thank Victoria Derbyshire and Anna Collinson for their extremely hard work on the topic and helping raise SO much awareness.
Thank you, and we keep fighting,