We all have ways in which we want to improve and know we need to improve on. Today, I just wanted to talk about 5 things I want to work on, and feel I need to work on. I know many of you will be able to relate to.
It has been a rough few days and so the tough days really do highlight our demons that try to pull us down, question ourselves and can cause many negative habits.
1. Self-love: self-love the number one and HARDEST habit to work on. Even when you are fully fit, in a career you love and great friends and family you can still battle with low self-esteem and not feel at peace with ourselves and our bodies. How can we build on self-love? It is a question I ask myself everyday and am yet to find the answer, but is there really an answer? I think we have to focus on the love we have around us, the lovely comments people give us over the negative emotions we feel. Not always easy despite all the love that people are giving us, sometimes it isn't enough to fully silence the negative thoughts. I am guilty of ignoring and dismissing the self-love and it's importance. Often I am stuck in that mindset that I can just wait for a miracle. Wake up tomorrow and feel like Beyoncé. When this is simply not the case. Like an athlete with their sport, you have to train and work at the habit day in day out in order to achieve your goals. As an ex-athlete I should be able to nail this training aspect. However, when it is something that is truly upsetting and emotional to you, you run from it. You hide away from the issue. It is hard to face the issue head on, it brings up fears, hard emotions. We have to be strong, we have to want to LEARN more about ourselves. Celebrating our achievements, OURSELVES and appreciating who we are as a human being. I hope to build a stronger relationship with myself because that won't only help me but it will help me be more present for other's too.
2. Guilt: guilt, is TOXIC. It is a toxin that seems to consumes us, runs through our veins and changes our thought processes. Guilt can be the trigger to many other negative emotions: self-pity, self-doubt, anger, lack of motivation and much more. It is so upsetting to see so many of us battle with guilt everyday and it isn't an easy habit to break free from. It takes work and a good dose of self-love. I think it is also important when it comes to guilt to surround yourself with supportive friends, family, work mates and so on that can calm your negative thoughts, be a cheerleader, pay you compliments, celebrate your work and offer a strong level of support. Like with anything, we need to be reminded of the good, the goodness we bring to life and the world to truly believe it ourselves. I hope to silence guilt as much as I can. To understand I am doing as much as I can and control all I can but something I can't control but that doesn't leave me responsible. I have to take into account all the other factors. I am just one person. I am making the best of the cards I have been deal and endeavouring to be the best person I can be everyday. I make mistakes, I do things wrong. I am human. As long as I hold my hands up and accept the blame, the consequences and the lessons from my actions I shouldn't allow myself to harbour the guilt.
3. Balance: finding a balance is HARD, beyond hard. We always seem to go from zero to a hundred, with no in-between. We feel lazy for having a day of rest and exhausted from having a full on schedule. We can't ever seem to find a happy medium. What makes it hard is when you work from home, you don't feel 'entitled' to time 'off' because you are at home all the time, so therefore we don't count our work as WORK. Our rest time therefore is simply seen as being 'lazy.' We can't have time off because we ALWAYS have time off. We are always at battle with ourselves over this and often when we think we have finished for the day we forget the little task and jobs we are still doing in our down time: answering emails, watching YouTube videos on how to grow a business, answering comments and so on that we discount as still working. What is also important to remember is that social media in itself is a job. Especially when you work relies on social media platforms. It is global and around the clock. It never stops, it never sleeps. This also effects your 'balance' because you are forever trying to keep up with something that never sleeps itself. Being able to balance everything is the dream and I know it isn't realistic to think that we can nail a perfect balance everyday. Everyday presents new challenges and is unique that what keep life interesting. Some days will naturally be more intense and busier than others. Some days may be quieter. W should aim to try and plan as much as we can. Often this is hard when our symptoms are unpredictable and can lead to days where we physically and emotionally can't do anything to doing way too much and pushing ourselves. We need to give ourselves rest time and also give ourselves our work time because having a focus really helps promote a positive mindset. The more productive and proactive we are the better we generally feel. My hope is to build on giving myself more time to chill out and be more ok about the down time. I hope to go out and socialise more too. Some time for me. My work and my passion to help other's is great but often I forget myself and don't feed my own soul what it is craving.
4. Self-doubt: we all battle with it. We all get that period of time when we are faced with tough tests, where we doubt our minds, abilities, skills and so on. I have to learn to have more faith in myself. I need to look back at my journey and think of all the times I doubted myself but somehow came through. I should be kinder to myself and rather than doubting myself should just face the fears head on and be my own fearless cheerleader.
5. Doing things for ME: this is a toughie. You don't want to be selfish, or feel selfish. You want to feel as if you are helping others, putting others first. Which is amazing and can help our healing in many ways but we MUST remember that we ourselves count too. We deserve the love and care we give out and give to others. Although it does feel selfish to think of ourselves first or put our own feelings to the fore-front of our minds, we have to. To feed our own heart, soul and minds. We also deserve to be happy and feel the happiness we share with others. I hope to work with number 3: balance, to achieve doing more things or myself. Stepping back when needed. Taking a day for myself, having fun with friend and so on. I think we all need that time when we just step back, EVEN THOUGH IT IS HARD and do something FOR OURSELVES. It won't affect the work we do for others, we will still do all we can for others and devote so much time to them but giving ourselves that space can mean we are able to give even more to others because we become happier, rested, more satisfied in ourselves.
It is easy to outline these habits I need to improve and work on. I know full well I need to work hard on them. Practising what you preach is the hardest thing in the world. I am going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment, health wise especially and I have admittedly struggled and lacked motivation to keep my blog up recently. Which isn't like me at all. This is a massive healer of mine and so this is a MASSIVE warning sign for me. A sign that I need to keep working hard, keep pushing myself outside my comfort zone when it comes to work but ALSO when it comes to myself, my own 'self-improvements.'
There are lots of things I need to shake up, reorganise and work on, I know that and so this is why I felt it was important to touch on these 'touchy' subjects today. In hope it drives me moving forward to improving and of course become the best person I can possibly become but remembering to take time for myself, live my life and give myself some recovery time too.
I know many of you will relate to all the above and what we have talked about today and I sure hope to keep working at these points and dedicating myself to the mission of improving on them and targeting these bad habits I have and continue to fall into.
Please feel free to share with me the 5 top things YOU want to work on or the habits you know are bad for your well-being but you feel you are trapped in them.
I love hearing from you!