I hope you all enjoyed a magical Christmas. Today, I wanted to sit down and think about the 19 lessons I have personally learnt in 2019! The days between Christmas & New Year is a time for real reflection and to begin taking action on your dreams to make them achievable in 2020, you can't expect them to just HAPPEN.
So let's kick off;
1. You are stronger than you believe: I have never felt I needed someone but I guess I felt ready to let someone in again. Only to be let down, left extremely upset and found myself rebuilding on top of other stresses ( such as health). I didn't need the extra pain. I realised I didn't deserve it & I was fine on my own. My success, my health, my life isn't in the hands of others like previously I thought. I can influence all these areas and that is how it should be. I am responsible for my own happiness and I shouldn't but placing this in the hands of others.
2. Your heart and gut KNOWS: When reaching difficult decisions in we can be influenced by so many things. Previously I would have allowed outside sources to sway me. I often made decisions not for myself but for others. I wasn't following my gut and my heart. Through fear of failure and hurting others. I was only hurting myself though. I was watching my life pass, pleasing others and not myself. I began changing my ways. People didn't like it a first. 'Where had the easy, push over of a Sophie gone?' She had be replaced, by a stubborn, rather direct young lady. A first, guilt did eat away at me. Still to this day I have to work hard on just focusing on my goals and dreams. I would NEVER tell someone what to do in their lives. I would always offer advice and help but ultimately it is their life. So, why was I allowing others to control mine? I have to keep reminding myself of this every day.
3. Everyone will judge: This is a biggie for me. Judgements. My fear of judgements is very REAL. You all know the struggles I have had in the past with people calling me skinny, making often very cruel comments about my appearance and frankly words are destructive in lots of ways. This year I have realised that I would be judged for watching TV for an hour, taking a break as I would if I won the Noble Peace Prize. Someone, somewhere would have something to say. I have spent many hours upset, crying that people think I am lazy because I work from home. It is only recently, when maybe all my years of working behind closed doors is coming to light. People are beginning to realise, 'NO, I actually don't stop.' It has been people telling me to slow down and take a break that has made me realise that even my 'down time' wasn't really 'switch off, do nothing, time.' It is answering messages, checking in with people, answering emails and so on. So this, 'watching TV!' I frankly don't have a clue what I was watching because I was on the phone. There is no 9-5 clock on, clock off. It is 24/7.
4. LIVE don't just survive. Losing loved ones is hard, it kicks into touch how precious our short our time is. I realised I spent a chunk of the year sitting, WAITING. Waiting for some miracle to make me all better so I could live, do this and that. How stupid was I? VERY. I was waiting time, sat looking a four walls. I NEVER want to be like that again or in that frame of mind. Taking action NOW is key not waiting for the sun to shine.
5. Make memories. Memories are worth gold, so priceless. So important. Make as many as you can, with as many people as you can.
6. Perfection is a myth, through all areas of life. Nothing is perfect. I decided to try and remove the stress of striving for every single part of my life to be perfect, go to plan and go with being imperfectly perfect.
7. Family is everything. There isn't much more to say when it comes to this point. Just really know the value & appreciate them more than words can explain.
8. Don't allow anyone to laugh at your dreams! People can try to pull you down, put a negative twist on your dreams but ultimately they are jealous of your courage to go chasing!! Take their attitude as a buzz not as drain. You are shining bright - they know that!!
9. Be YOU! We all allow self-doubt to creep in. You are your strongest superpower so go out and exercise this to the MAX. We are bombarded from all angles with 'what we should look like.' 'What we should be doing.' ETC, it is beyond destructive and draining. Someone may seem to have it all when it reality they have very little. Yet, some have very little but truly have it all. What you see in the media, online is just a snapshot. Keep reminding yourself of this and NOBODY can be you. You have lots of great qualities. Keep reminding yourself of them.
10. Don't let guilt eat away at you. So much easier to say that to put into practise. I have allowed not just within 2019 but for MANY years, guilt to overshadow my life in many different ways. It is toxic & lands us in a dark place. You must always apologise when you are in the wrong or to blame. But once you have apologised from the heart, then it is done. There isn't anymore you can do. Let it go, learn and move on.
11. Keeping learning: We never stop learning and it is important to keep motivated to carry on wanting to develop and grow as a person.
12. Self-development is key, it isn't selfish. For so long I have neglected myself - due to low-self esteem and low-self worth. In the last 3 months I have committed to doing 30 minutes a day of self-development and it has really helped me build myself up. I feel stronger in myself and more positive in my goals in the future.
13. People come and go: it is deeply upsetting, but people really do come and go. We can't cling on to them. No matter how hard we must let go. They were in your life for a purpose, but they have also left your life for a reason too. You can't allow the negative and toxic energies of clinging on bring you down. Let go, feel free & allow new amazing people walk in .
14. This is YOUR LIFE - MAKE IT YOURS. Make sure you are living for you. Check in with yourself! It isn't selfish it is SO important. We only get one shot at this game.
15. I learnt: I need to learn something new everyday ( knowledge is power), help someone every day ( because kindness makes the world go around) & feel happy every day ( whether that is a phone call with friend, a coffee with a family member, etc). That way, despite however I may be feeling, I achieved so much in that day. It is a real mood booster.
16. Law of attraction is very real! You attract the energy you put out. If you want to be negative then negative things will come your way, you will pull in that kind of energy and soon be surrounded by it. If you are positive, you bring light into the lives of others and your own. Your positivity is infectious and you uplift people without even trying. You can spend a week just trying to smile at everyone you see and you will be surprised how far a smile goes.
17. Failures aren't failures they are lessons to build and grow from! They aren't negatives but huge positives.
18. Positive self-talk. Positive self-talk, not just to others but yourself is key on the days you are lacking motivation. You need to remind yourself what you are fighting for, what you have in your life and what you are working towards.
19. I don't know what the futures holds but I am trying to stay present. Take action now to help build a better future but also enjoy the present moments. Don't wish them away and definitely not dwell on the past.
I hope you have enjoyed my lessons for 2019 and maybe you yourself have learnt a few of these points yourself over the last 12 months. Looking on into 2020, we must stay positive, stay focused, stay present and motivated. We only get one shot at life. Don't waste it away, dwelling or caging yourself in. You have the key to your own happiness and we have to keep reminding ourselves of this . The phrase is 'I can' not 'I can't'!
Let's spend the last few days of 2019 recovering and being focused on our goals for 2020.