We have to take a moment to appreciate sometimes, how far we have come. The challenges we face, yet overcome everyday. For a moment we don't see them as anything special because to us our fighter DNA is just the norm. We forget the amount of times we got up, got dressed, made it out, honoured our commitments, worked on our projects.
There has been a number of times ( today being one of them ) where I look at my to-do list & think OH NO. Not because I am don't want to do the work, but because I know I WANT to do the work but feel like death warmed up. LITERALLY. I push through but I don't take the time to appreciate myself. The wins of the day no matter how small because other's simply wouldn't push through like I do. I know people often discredit or don't fully understand my health problems & how poorly I am. BECAUSE, I always show up. Despite often wanting to drop down in pain, cry with exhaustion and fall apart in front of people, they see a girl who has painted a smile on, is chatty, acting positive and so on because to me I value life, I value the people in my life, life is too short to act negatively. I can't wave a magic wand and make the pain fade away. I have to deal with the pain and symptoms HERE AND NOW. Law of attraction is very real and whether you believe it or not positivity is infectious and negativity repels people. I am not saying I am never negative, BOY DO I HAVE MY DAYS. However, I run from negative feelings and thoughts I can't allow them to hold me down or eat away at me. As I know first hand how toxic they are. How controlling over your life they become and how destructive they are. I have been there admittedly a number of times - IN THAT BLACK HOLE. Ready to give up. Not wanting to live life any longer.
Despite my health. Despite the struggles. I do fully appreciate HOW LUCKY I am in life. Although I wish nobody has to go through pain and tragic events, which I have made it my mission to help protect & save lives especially from Lyme as best I can. But we have to appreciate, nobody is immune. Our time is limited. We can play by the rules, get stuck in the negative cycle of self-pity, soak up negativity or live life for others - to scared to pave our own way.
I have faced so many judgements, time and time again over my life and especially in the last few years about how I live. People are seemingly quick to judge without the facts and until very recently I would sound out all the positives and listen to the negatives. Which was so destructive to my mental health and was adding such darkness to my life. It is only through sheer hard work, on my own business and myself that I am become stronger and now reaching the point where negative comments I can just throw away like a waste piece of paper. BECAUSE the people who matter know the work I put in, the people who matter know what I am all about, the people who matter know my heart is in the right place and more importantly I know the work I put in, my dreams, my mission and where my heart lies. People's negative judgements aren't reflection on me - but them. I see that now and that is why I can handle them a lot better.
It has been refreshing for me, to have people comment on all the work I do, how much I manage and how much I actually do. I know some people just think I sit here and type nonsense. About my life, advice I have, my work and my crazy dreams. The fail to see the time, energy & effort not to mention the emotion strength it takes to put myself out there and write out my thoughts. People fail to realise how exhausting podcast creating is. It isn't just about conducting the interview. But you have to be professional, you have to take the time to write out schedules, organise dates, reschedule & edit. It isn't a five minute job. My travel deals are researched, priced out and thought out carefully when it comes to timings and locations. I have to ensure I am offering something to everyone. Something suitable for families, couples, city breaks, long-haul, all-inclusives and something people with chronic illness can enjoy with ease. I take all this into consideration. Which takes a lot of forward planning and time. I spend hours writing out meaningful social media content that will help my audience, bring them positivity, comfort and my journey that hopefully they can relate to. Everything I do if thought out, takes times and a lot of effort. I wouldn't have it any other way because I LOVE IT. It keeps me focused, gives me purpose and motivation to stay positive. It just hurts when people throw the comment at you, 'So, what do you, do exactly ?' Only a few months back, I wouldn't know where to begin answering because I felt embarrassed, not good enough. Now, I can happily be open. I can happily and confidently list what I do. People can have their opinions. At the end of the day, they shouldn't knock it until they have tried it.
Working from home. Working as I do isn't a weakness. It doesn't mean I don't 'do anything' because I am home all the time. Often it means I do more. As I don't 'clock off.'
Having people tell me I do so much, actually means the world to me. More than ever it helps dampen the negative 'you do nothing,' thoughts. So, I thank you all for you support. I am still SO BUZZING from being in the top 20 chronic illness podcasts on the web for 2019! And already have amazing guests, lining up for series 3 which is incredible.
Once again, thank you for all your love and support - remind yourself this Sunday. YOU ARE ALLOWED TIME OFF, you are giving life it's best shot & when you know that, we have to give ourselves credit and be proud of ourselves.
I leave you with some travel inspiration of course - remember to message me for any more information when it comes to travel and the travel business.
I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and are charged up with inspiration going into MONDAY. Don't forget the latest episode of Chronic But Iconic comes out tomorrow. With the amazing founder of the charity Invisiyouth - DOMINIQUE.
Exciting, love always,
Sophie
xoxo