Taking Happiness Back - Poetry

Regain Happiness

She looks in the mirror wondering where the pain is coming from,

Where is this girl really from?

Why am I letting the sadness control the way I see myself and my life?

My worst critic throwing words around that cut like a deep knife,

Allowing my critic shape me,

Into a person I don't want to be,

Isolated, lonely & sad,

The pain always leaving me feeling disgusting and bad,

Chasing some form of happiness that maybe I never really had,

When I think back over time,

There was never once in my life I felt in my prime,

Plagued by comparisons and expectations,

Never building good relations,

As I chose to neglect the one relationship that mattered most,

The girl in the mirror that now feel a shell & a ghost,

She used smoke screens placing her happiness in other places,

Painting on the endless number of brave faces,

The actress that was talented but never made it to Hollywood,

Fooling herself yet knowing what she should,

Be chasing,

Every fear she is facing,

The pain battled every day,

Helps her gain strength in a new way,

Every day she is learning,

Maybe she caused the fire to continue burning,

Life will never be sunshine and roses,

People will always nudge in with their noses,

Wanting to uncover the mystery of you,

Questioning all the storms you have weathered through,

I don't have it all figured out,

That is a fact without a doubt,

But I aim for a day without self-doubt,

With confidence into a crowd walk out,

Head held high,

Waving bye,

To the harsh critic that lives within,

From my illness I may never win,

It doesn't mean I don't deserve to smile a real smile,

Admittedly it has been a while,

Rise above a society that wants you to carry that guilt,

Don't forget the castle you have built,

With your own bricks,